Throughout all my depression, the one thing I can say that consistently has been there to help me through it, has been music.

I created a playlist of songs that have helped me with the intent to share that playlist here. But each song has meaning to me and I didn’t want the meaning to get lost in the bigger picture. So I decided to start a series called “Songs That Helped” (which is what the playlist is titled, how original lol). I will individually share them with you along with a few comments, maybe a short story, and I will point out the parts that did it for me. I hope you listen and I hope it helps you too.

The first song: Jay Z – Lost One

I started with this one because in it, Jay Z says “time don’t go back, it goes forward. you can’t run from them pain, go towards it” and that’s why I’m here! That is like the premise of this whole blog. I can’t run from my pain, so I’m trying to go straight into it. Blogging helps me face my issues and make sense of them.

That line has always stuck with me, time does not go back. There is no going back and trying to change things we wish never happened or never was. I used to listen to this when I needed that reminder.

I also listened to it when I was going through a break up, sorry loser. You lost one.


The lyrics.

Uh, uh, uh, uh
It’s not a dis song, it’s just a real song
Feel me?

I heard motherfuckers saying they made Hov
Made Hov say, “OK so, make another Hov”
Niggaz wasn’t playing they day role
So we parted ways like Ben and J-Lo
I should’ve been did it but I been in a daze though
I put friends over business end of the day though
But when friends, business interests is Day Glow
Ain’t nothing left to say though
I guess we forgot what we came fo’
Should’ve stayed in food and beverage
Too much flossing
Too much Sam Rothstein
I ain’t a bitch but I gotta divorce them
Hov had to get the shallow shit up off him
And I ain’t even want to be famous
Niggaz is brainless to unnecessarily go through these changes
And I ain’t even know how it came to this
Except that fame is
The worst drug known to man
It’s stronger than, heroin
When you could look in the mirror like, “There I am”
And still not see, what you’ve become
I know I’m guilty of it too but, not like them (this is one of my favorite lines because I find myself repeating it often)
You lost one

[Chrisette Michele & Jay-Z:]
Lose one, let go to get one
Get one, lose some to win some (You lost one)
Story of a champion, sorry I’m a champion (that’s f*cking right, we are champions)
You lost one

I don’t think it’s meant to be, B
For she loves her work more than she does me
And honestly, at twenty-three
I would probably love my work more than I did she
So we, ain’t we
It’s me, and her
‘Cause what she prefers over me, is work
And that’s, where we, differ
So I have to give her
Free, time, even if it hurts
So breathe, mami, it’s deserved
You’ve been put on this earth to be
All you can be, like the reserves

And me? My time in the army, it’s served
So I have to allow she, her, time to serve
The time’s now for her
In time she’ll mature
And maybe we, can be, we, again like we were
Finally, my time’s too short to share
And to ask her now, it ain’t fair
So yeah, she lost one

[Chrisette Michele & Jay-Z:]
Lose one, let go to get one
Get one, lose some to win some (Oh yeah, she lost one)
Story of a champion, sorry I’m a champion
You lost one

My nephew died in the car I bought
So I’m under the belief it’s partly my fault
Close my eyes and squeeze, try to block that thought
Place any burden on me, but please, not that lord
Time don’t go back, it goes forward
Can’t run from the pain, go towards it (that the part)
Some things can’t be explained, what caused it?
Such a beautiful soul, so pure, shit
Gonna see you again, I’m sure of it
‘Til that time, little man I’m nauseous
Your girlfriend’s pregnant, the lord’s gift
Almost lost my faith, that restored it
It’s like having your life restarted
Can’t wait for your child’s life, to be a part of it
So now I’m child-like, waiting for a gift
To return, when I lost you, I lost it

[Chrisette Michele & Jay-Z:]
Lose one, let go to get one
Get one, lose some to win some (Colleek, I lost one)
Sorry of a champion, Colleek, you’re a champion
I lost one

Lyrics from a-z lyrics.

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