Vulnerability.

So I spent last night and early this morning listening to Brene Brown’s audio book, or rather her series of talks on audible (my new thing) and I took some notes I wanted to share. It was like listening to a 6 hour podcast, so if you like podcasts and struggle with being vulnerable, I definitely recommend you listen to it.

It’s called “The Power of Vulnerability”

It was important for me to listen to this because vulnerability is something I struggle with. Especially with sharing my story through this blog.

Honestly, it is easier for me to write when I feel like I’m only one who is reading.

Even with sharing my writings and it being public where anyone can read it, it makes me cringe when other people share it through their platforms.

That just means more people will see and that is frightening.

I’m trying to overcome this though, which is why I listened.

Listening, some parts really hit me, especially when she said “In the absence of love and belonging, there is always suffering” because I literally just spoke about that in my blog post yesterday.

I want to be more vulnerable and be more of my authentic self because I think there will be someone who can relate. And as Brene mention in her talks, sometimes all we need is a “me too!”. Knowing that you are not the only one who feels that way, can make you feel a whole lot better. I guess this goes back to that sense of belonging.

Everyone is too cool or maybe ashamed to share their truths, including me at times. But that’s why we are here, I’m trying.

So yeah, 10/10 definitely recommend checking it out and if you do, just for fun, take a shot every time she says “does that make sense” 😂

In the meantime, here are my notes:

The Power of Vulnerability.

  • We live in a culture were we are never enough. The most dangerous is never being relevant enough. In this culture, an ordinary life = a meaningless life. We have a shame based fear of being ordinary.
  • The people who count are the ones who are willing to show up and be seen.
  • Stories are data with a soul.
  • Love and belonging are irreducible needs of men, women and children. In the absence of love and belonging there is always suffering.
  • We cultivate love when allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known.
  • All examples of love include trust, respect, kindness and affection.
  • Love is not something we give or get but that we nurture and grow.
  • Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal and the withholding of affection can damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged and healed.
  • I don’t think we can love others more than we love ourselves. So our first order of business is the development of self love.
  • Belonging: the innate human desire to be apart of something larger than us. Because this yearning is so primal we try to acquire it by fitting in and seeking approval. But our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self acceptance.
  • Be seen.
  • Believe you are lovable.

(Yes I know, these are a lot of notes but cmon, it was 6 hours long)

  • How much we know ourselves is important, how we treat ourselves is most important.
  • Empathy is “me too”
  • Shaming is not going to change behavior.
  • Owning our stories: We can walk into the stories of lives and own them or we stand outside of our stories and hustle for our worthiness.
  • Our worthiness lives inside our story.
  • Worthiness has no prerequisites.
  • What are your shame triggers?
  • When you own your story, you become the narrator of the story.
  • We judge in areas where we are most subjectable to shame. Because we are looking for validation that “at least we are better than you”. Think about the areas you are most judgmental.
  • Compassion is knowing our darkness is well enough that we can sit in the dark with others. And it is not a relationship between the wounded and the healed but between equals.
  • Empathy is feeling with. Sympathy is feeling for.
  • If we want more joy, we have to practice more gratitude.
  • We are all struggling, be kind.
  • How to be authentic = letting go of what people think.
  • Authenticity is about boundary setting.
  • We are all made of strength and struggle.
  • On boundaries: Choose discomfort over resentment.
  • Understand who you are.
  • Wholehearted men and women are spiritual people. They are also creative.

(Some of these notes are pretty generic but sometimes we need the reminder)

  • We are connected to to each other by something greater than us. This belief is spirituality.
  • Spirituality brings us perspective and purpose.
  • What is your gratitude practice?
  • When you’re on the right path, the universe will conspire to help you – The Alchemist
  • Small incidents can have lasting effects. (Triggers)
  • Art scars. Changing how you feel about being a creative person.
  • Making something that hasn’t existed before is creativity.
  • Play = time you spend without purpose and don’t want to end.
  • We need more play, less work.
  • We live in a culture that what you do = who you are.
  • You are responsible for the energy you bring into a room.
  • Cool is an emotional stray jacket.

The end.

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