love THYSELF.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

I sent out a newsletter this morning sharing an event I did last year and why I did it. I wanted to elaborate on that more.

The event was called Painting With Reyna. And it was the first event I did as The Connect. I had just finished Reyna’s book and was super inspired. Then I seen a post from Thynk Global, offering their space to the best event idea. I pitched the idea of a self love focused paint party hosted by local artist Reyna Noriega.

I won.

Flyer designed by Reyna.

A friend and I made it happen in about a month’s time. It was a great event, I must say.

But I’m sure people wondered why the first event I threw as The Connect, a local publication for creative entrepreneurs , was centered around self love. Well for one, I want The Connect to be more than just business. It’s deeper than that. I believe that true success lies within the foundation and that foundation will always be you, the creator.

You are the heart to any business you may start. So taking care and loving yourself is key, if you ask me.

For me, The Connect is symbolic of the love I have for myself. I have had the idea for years, 10 years to be exact. I have always loved magazines and dreamed of running my own one day. At the time though, the idea of print seemed like a lost cause. Everything was online. So I decided to do an online magazine. The name I worked under was Downtown500.

But I felt like there was too much online, there was no way I would be able to get the attention I wanted, doing what everyone else was doing. So that’s why I decided to do print. (This was about 5 years ago, these days print seems to be making a comeback.)

That’s when the idea of The Connect came in. I said eff the blog, I’m going to start a publication. And yes, if you read the newsletter, I was coked out when I first came up with the idea to go print. I had been in a relationship with a guy who introduced me to a what I call a “rockstar” lifestyle. I was snorting coke and popping pills and dealing with emotional, verbal and physical abuse.

That relationship had kicked me while I was already down. Looking back, I should have known better. #ChiTip: starting a relationship the same week you get out of the hospital after a failed suicide attempt, is not the best idea.

It all happened so fast.

I remember this one time my ex literally dragged me by my hair in the front of his complex. I have never felt so degraded in my life. Well I lied, I did the time he poured his drink down my shirt. Or maybe the time he tried to kick me out his house while I was completely naked. Or the time he held a knife to me and his brother walked in with no intent to help me. As if he couldn’t see the fear in my eyes. As if I wasn’t worthy of being saved.

You get it.

The Connect was what I felt was my only way out. It was the only hope I had to the life I wanted. Sometimes, it still is.

I had went from being suicidal, into a relationship with an abusive man and straight from that relationship I went into another that was better but still emotionally detrimental. Then I became a mom. I was a single mother before I had even given birth. Yup, I am apart of that statistic. So as you can see, I have no time in between to heal, to learn how to love myself again. That is if, I ever truly knew how.

When my son turned one, I started to realize that if I don’t become the woman I want to be, I won’t be the mother I want to be for my son. I had to make this happen.

So that’s why I started with an event based on self love. Because to me, it is the root of my business.

It why I feel like this blog is so important because it’s my real journey to becoming that woman I still hope to be.

I am 30 next month, and still trying to figure out how to love myself, lol. But I have to. As I said, I believe that it will be the key to my success.

There has been a lot of obstacles (covid being a major one) but I won’t give up.

I’m hoping that moving into own place will be a tremendous improvement on my mental health and that I will be able to release The Connect’s first issued this year. But, we shall see.

Stick around!

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